… actually they don’t walk into the bar, because the bar is filled with people. Unless of course the bar is empty – in which case, that would be ok.
And it’s fun. (stick with me, I’ll come back to the introvert thing)
Initially, I thought I should wait to date someone. After all, I left my husband less than a year ago. Actually, our relationship was over years before that and I really want to have someone to spend my life with. I’m 52… waiting doesn’t seem like such a good option.
I actually found someone really nice through Match.com. This is not an advertisement for Match. I have heard some horror stories about online dating. Friends who have come across some really weird people. And others who thought they connected with someone only to never hear from them again.
I was dreading going on a date. Because obviously I would need to make small talk. The introvert in me does NOT like doing this.
The great thing about Match was that I was able to clearly state what I was looking for in a partner. Someone active, who loves to camp and be outside, will not think I’m weird when I hug a tree… I was also able to discover men in my area with similar interests and eliminate those that were not very active.
I was able to pick and choose who I communicated with. Yes, I came across a few unusual men, but I was seemingly lucky (fortunate? wise?) to find someone who shares my love of the outdoors, has no plans to stop being active and even posted a picture of himself camping in the winter. Awesome! After a few dates, I also discovered he is an introvert! Like me! He understands my dislike of groups. Unlike my ex he does not force me into situations outside my comfort zone.
Was I consciously looking for someone very unlike my ex? Maybe. I know I was consciously looking for someone who looked nothing like him. But when considering a personality type, I almost expected to find someone outgoing. Someone who would again bring me out of my shell. It seems I was wrong to seek out extroverts. Dating an introvert allows me to be a more equal partner in this relationship. It’s not all about my partner. It’s about me. In the past, focusing on my partner allowed me to stay in the background. Now, I can shine. I can do things I want to do, in the way I want to do them.
I am taking a deep breath of release and satisfaction.
My partner and I can do the things we like without talking to random people in elevators. We can go whole minutes without talking on a hike or while making dinner.
My demons still linger in the background. ‘Why would he want to be with you’, they yell. I yell back, ‘because I am worthy!!’.